My First Memory

My first memory goes back to when I was four.It was summer and we lived in Simmons City Texas.Which was hardly a city at all but a bunch of my relatives who lived in this area thirty miles from the nearest town.I will never forget this because it was a turning point in my life that set the foundation for a rocky and horrible road.As I was saying I was four my mother like always was at work and my big brother was with my grandfather,I was at home alone with a drunk father.I loved my father with all my heart and remember that for sure,but that day he destroyed my life.That day he began to touch me in ways a father shouldn't touch a child.I remember running and hiding under my blanket's in my room scared and crying and I remember how he followed me into my room trying to comfort me and promising me a banana split from the Dairy Queen in Three Rivers. If I would only let him touch me.Forgive me father,I was only a child and this was my father I let him.What other choice could I have made.A four year old doesnt think past today and he was my trusted father. Well I am going to assume that this went on whenever he was home from jail or work because that seems to be the only memory I have of him.

my start

I was started in september 10th of 1980.I was born to two teens who thought partying and being drunk was very important.My mother was a hard worker regardless of the lifestyle she led.I cant remeber but a few times that we actually had time together.My father was a drunk he worked as a rough neck in the oil field.He also hunted all the time so we never went hungry.lol.I also have a brother he is a year older than me and my mothers baby.We were very poor,I remember times that I was picked on as a child because I had to wear my brothers old shoes and once even wore my fathers sox,maybe had my parents not placed so much of theyre joy in drinking I could have had a new pair of shoes.This blog is a way for me to release my anger,resentment,and move forward in a more happy life.My hope is that someone who shares a similar background as I have will see it and know they are not alone.I truely believe that I can make a difference with a short story.So I am going to write my story in a series of short stories,and eventually come to the present were I might actually journal my thoughts day to day.

Welcome to my world!